project 365 #61: full moon three

project 365 #61: full moon three
Originally uploaded by mygothlaundry.

Another rough day. Anxiety is a monster sometimes; it's like being in a horror movie called The Creeping Dread. There's nothing out there but you're terrified anyway: Blair Witch project, urban variety. I think maybe the fish oil and the antique lexapro are not getting along well or something. Or possibly I'm going to feel like this forever, in which case I anticipate going shrieking mad fairly soon, which I'm looking forward to greatly. But it's okay now. It's okay at home (well, Emily Post and Heloise would disagree with me there, to say nothing of Drs. Spock and Freud.)

The moon is amazing tonight and the furnace is fixed and my tooth doesn't hurt as badly as it did yesterday. It is going to fix itself which may be empirical proof that a consortium of interested nature spirits does in fact exist, since I was all about the "Look, gods, make the tooth problem not exist, please, I cannot deal with this right now," and it (cross your fingers) seems to be going away. Of course, it would be nice if it had gone away before I went to the dentist and spent money with more money yet to come. Fucking Buncombe County took a bunch of money out of my bank account, too, because of overdue car tax that I could have sworn I paid; I can't believe they just reached in and got it and charged me $50 for the insult to boot.

Listen, y'all. Thank you for all the warm thoughts and the nice emails and the general good vibes. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart - in fact, remind me to always have my nervous breakdowns on the internet, because the support is awesome. I am going to be okay, eventually, and even though I'm kind of a mess right now, I'm essentially sane underneath. At least I think I am. Some may disagree, but I swear there is, under the madness, some common sense and some calm and all that good stuff. Also, remember that this blog is kind of catharsis at work - I unload it here so I'm not carrying it around everywhere. So don't worry about me. I'm taking a time out, which is why I'm not answering my phone, but I will answer emails. . . and I'm going to work. . . and I'm doing mundane shit like the laundry. It's okay.