Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Bah Humbug

Okay, five days to Christmas - it's FREAK OUT time! I'm knitting madly yet I have not even begun some of the scarves I must make. The one I'm making for my brother is getting longer and longer. It's ugly. It's bumpy. It has odd holes and pokey-out bits. I'm hoping that if it reaches Dr. Who lengths then these flaws will be less visible - hope springs eternal during this magic time of the year, doesn't it? I'm also hoping that Santa's magic elves descend on my house, clean it and leave behind a sizable check. As I knit and make crafts I have begun to realize something: all my artwork has a certain charming childish naivete. That's a nice way of saying that everything I make looks like it was made by a doped up pre teen. That's okay. I plan on telling my brother that he can pick up girls wearing this scarf: he just has to explain how his poor sister, who takes massive amounts of thorazine, made it in crafts class at the institution. These theoretical girls will be charmed by his fraternal affection.

Also in crafting news, I had bought A some underpants, which I planned to embellish with transfers of otters. The picture on the package of underpants I bought looked like little boy shorts - a pink pair and a blue pair, how cute. How cute indeed, until I opened the package, when they turned out to be giant, enormous, and huge granny briefs that come up to your rib cage. So I'm not going to embellish them with otters and in fact I would give them to Goodwill except I think they might make a hilarious Halloween costume.

A Haiku:

Ah Christmas Crafts
Bringing Halloween Joy
for next year

M & I went to Best Buy yesterday and got Windows XP which I then downloaded. W00t! My l33t 5klllz r001 - it's working. After several hours. And somehow it reloaded all the crap game software I spent 3 hours deleting. God damn you Bill Gates! Also, I need RAM, and RAM is expensive shit. I had no idea - I also have no idea how we've been running on as little RAM as we have. I think we have like 12 megs of RAM, no lie. Clearly this is not enough, but more costs hundreds of dollars, so we'll have to rely on Santa's magic elves for that as well, drat.

However and meanwhile, while we were there, looking at Battlefield 2 and realizing that there was no way it would run on our system, this nice kind of elvish looking guy came up to us. Turns out he's part owner of the Sword & Grail, which is a local geek hangout par excellence, which M loves and which I try not to enter, since I deeply covet their several Cerebus books but I can't afford them. Anyhow, he talked to us for a while and ended up giving M 4 free hours on the computer games at the store. This made M very happy - me too, since it means I get to use my own computer, and also gets him out of my hair for a bit so I can obsess & freak out over his (lack of) Christmas gifts. This (total strangers offering gifts) is the kind of thing that happens to M all the time. It's interesting. He's thinking of starting a cult, and that does seem like a fairly good career option for his kind of charisma. As for me, I spotted several quite cute geeks at the Sword & Grail so maybe I should start hanging out there and just reading Cerebus.


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