Friday, September 21, 2007

And Today's Horoscope

You may be driven by your needs for pleasure today and satisfaction could certainly be linked to love or money. You are more determined than ever and you won't let anything get in your way. If you notice that you have become compulsive about fulfilling your desires, keep in mind that life probably won't be as intense next week.

Isn't that brilliant? I was just thinking that I felt blah as hell today and have, in fact, all week mostly. If life is not as intense next week I should probably just stay in bed making bubbling noises with my lips. So, given that, to up the intensity factor, I obviously need to go rob a bank and take a good looking male hostage while I'm there. That should cover my satisfaction with both love and money. Probably the only way I'm going to get satisfaction from love and money, actually. I feel compelled to do it. Compelled, I tell you!

In other news, did you know that if you google springer spaniels or look them up in any of the lavishly illustrated coffee table books about dogs from the 70s and 80s that your mother still has in the living room, you will find that they are listed as smart? This is a bad and serious typo that should immediately be addressed. Springer Spaniels are many things but smart is not one of them. Collies turn out to not be as smart as I thought either, unless digging your way frantically into a groundhog or other kind of largish riverbank dweller's hole, heedless of the possibility that there could well be a cornered and unhappy largish monster with fully functional claws and teeth at the end of that hole and staying at it until your human has to pull you out by your tail is some kind of indicator of smartness that I was not previously aware of.

He Who Shall Not Be Blogged About, on the other hand, is very smart. So smart that his teachers gathered this morning to explain to me at length his potential as eventual Evil Overlord and inquire of me in exasperation and despair as to why he simply will not work. I tell you, sometimes it's just no fun at all being the mother of Bartleby the Scrivener.

2 comments:

THE JANE DOE JOURNALS said...

Felicity call me sometime and we can commiserate about this condition that V is also suffering from, that causes the assembly of parents and teachers.

Edgy Mama said...

Ha! I haven't thought about Bartleby the Scrivener since high school!