Why Do We Have Nuts?

A asks innocently, "Why is there a bowl of nuts on the kitchen table?"
"We've had them since Christmas. I keep going to throw them away, and then I feel guilty, because they're perfectly good nuts and I think how the squirrels would like them and I should just give them to the squirrels, but then I think that I don't like squirrels and I certainly don't want to feed them or encourage them in any way, so then I think I should take them down to the park and give them to the squirrels in the park. But then I think that that might be illegal and anyway at the very least it's a pain in the ass and so I end up putting them back on the shelf in the dining room until the next time I go to throw them away at which point. . . "