The Great Peony Experiment

Last night at the Westville I met this woman who told me that you can attract your perfect lover if you have peonies in your bedroom. Well. Okay. I would definitely be interested in that perfect lover showing up, and I just so happen to have a fully blooming peony bush outside my living room, so, tonight, fueled by a bit of beer, I went out in the dark and cut some peonies and put them in my room. Now I am waiting, with proverbial bated breath. Or baited, I guess, is more appropriate here.

Peonies aren't in bloom very long, so I don't have very long to attract a mate. Story of my life: time is limited, bloom is fading. Damn. Peonies also have this terrible tendency to be crawling with ants, which I really hope isn't carried over unto the soon to be appearing lover, because I will happily continue celibate rather than cope with a lover who is crawling with ants. I mean, really: ewwww. I picked these in the dark, too, and so some of them are kind of ratty, and if that means I end up with a ratty lover, well shit.

But at any rate, they're in the bedroom, working their peonic magic, and I will keep you updated should that wildly unlikely thing, a date, appear in my life. Keep your fingers crossed. It may not work, but hell, goddess knows it's easier and cheaper and probably more efficient than Match.com.

In other news, like the new color scheme? These classes are paying off, bwah ha ha.