I woke up this morning around 5:00. While I was in the bathroom pondering just how hungover I was going to be today (very) Barbieri jumped in through the open bathroom window with a large lively mouse in his mouth. Yes, that would be the open bathroom window that's right next to the toilet which I was seated upon. So cat and mouse essentially went over me on their way to the floor. I got rapidly off the toilet and into the bathtub (my bathroom is not overly large) and pleaded with Barbieri to leave, just fucking leave, okay, please? Just please take that mouse the hell out of here or kill it or something, oh god? It's difficult to be brave when you're naked and hungover at 5 in the morning trapped in a small bathroom with a mouse and a cat.
I bravely fled, slamming the door behind me and then pushing rolled up towels against the crack at the bottom of my bedroom door. Than I stayed awake a long time, reading a really, really bad fantasy novel called Through Wolf's Eyes which I heartily do not recommend and thinking about how hungover I was. Very. Very hungover. I still am and it's like 7:00 pm and I just made and ate pork chops and collards and mashed potatos, although A is at work and M is off with his friends somewhere. Why is it that hangovers make me so hungry? And not hungry for salad or hummus or anything either.
Why am I hungover? It's directly attributable to my new status as a blogebrity. That's right. I am now a blogebrity and y'all had better be impressed and shit. Because of my blogebrity, this old friend of mine from like 20 years ago who read the Mountain Xpress article tracked down my phone number and called me and we went out and I, of course, got drunk. She was my roommate in Charleston when I was right out of college and not knowing what to do with my life - not much has changed there for me, alas. Damn her, she's beautiful and successful. Not that I was hoping she'd be fat and poor. Or anything evil like that, I am not so small minded, ha ha. Still, does she have to be quite so beautiful and successful? Also running a triathlon?
But she's not a blogebrity. I am. And we had a really good time, and I'm glad she moved to Asheville. And she's on her way to Charleston where she's going to see two of my other roommates and close close friends from 20 years ago, who I haven't seen in a decade or more, and it's all pretty cool, this blogebrity thing. Want my autograph?