Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Plans

I've decided that what I need to make my life complete is to make a movie. And not just any movie, no - what I want to make is a Giant Possum Movie. Possibly the only giant possum movie ever, although you can never be sure, given cable tv and their eternal search for the most horrific cheap movies in the world. For all I know, someone in Hong Kong could have beaten me to this lucrative possibility years ago. But I don't care. I'm going to make a Giant Possum Movie, by god, and it's going to be the best damn Giant Possum Movie in the universe.

See, the other night I was sitting out on my deck with my friend C and the conversation turned, as it so often does, to possums. When the conversation turns this way, I am honor bound to mention the huge possum, almost as big as Theo, who lives near my old house and marches down the center of the street in broad daylight, fearing nothing. He's right to fear nothing, because everyone who spots him, human and canine alike, does the same thing: they make a kind of eeeyarrgh, urk noise and run away. Which is the sensible thing to do. So I said to my friend C, "Suppose possums are like fish? And they just grow and grow until they get hit by a car or something?" "Yes, Felicity," said C sardonically, "Possums are just like fish!"

Nay sayers, bah. It's possible. Although if it was true, you'd think someone might have spotted a house sized possum or two strolling through the neighborhood, which would, let's face it, be awesome. Well, bad, yeah, but bad in an awesome way. Therefore I am going to make the movie. And if my movie possums are not only gigandor but also shoot laser beams out their eyes (while, naturally, making that particular and specific I am shooting laser beams out my eyes right now noise - that's a very helpful noise, that is, without it you wouldn't know when to drop flat on the ground because the presence of the giant lizard or robot or whatever wouldn't necessarily have alerted you to the fact that dropping flat to the ground might be a good idea right around now) well, that will just be bonus. And I think I can make this movie pretty cheap, too. Possibly in Photoshop.

1 comment:

Edgy Mama said...

My five-year-old son can produce a brilliant and sustained "I'm shooting laser beams out of my eyes" noise. You're welcome to record him anytime for your movie. Which is also a brilliant idea!