Every morning Django & Theo drag me around the neighborhood. It would be cute if it wasn't so goddamn annoying. Theo is pretty good, unless he sees another dog on a leash, but Django is impossible and, worse, he's gotten strong, so he really drags me along. Then I lose my temper and bite my lip and snarl savagely at him and swing him to me by the neck, which is unattractive at best and probably a felony at worst (although it doesn't faze Django one iota) and he apologizes abjectly without quite ever knowing what he's done wrong and we start the whole thing over again. Jesus, puppies. They're worse than babies.
A baby wouldn't have trashed my entire backyard like Django has. I need to go take pictures of that; it's awe inspiring; it looks like Red Cross photos of a natural disaster out there. You think I'm exaggerating and I wish to god I was: in actual fact it's much worse than I can describe. It's too awful to even take pictures and I really don't know how I'm ever going to clean it up. Like an acre of pure, unfettered destruction, proving once and for all that dogs actually prefer to live in squalor. Little shithead. He was hanging out on my bed chewing up some foam thing today, too. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
In other bloggish news, my virus, in its latest incarnation, has morphed into a classic head cold. I seem to have caught a mutant X men morphing virus; I've basically been sick for the whole goddamn month, but I never get the same symptom twice. It's because of the being good thing - when you smoke & drink a lot, viruses are afraid to enter your body. They know the toxicity level is too high for them to survive. Then you get healthy and lo, the viruses are all like, "Awesome! We can raise a family in this lovely, healthy, pure environment." Yet another reason why it just doesn't pay to be good.
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2 comments:
On dog walking I am far from expert. I sometimes would walk my x's 3yo lab mix and he would try to pull. I would pull back slightly on the leash and stop walking for a few seconds. He learned not to pull for me surprisingly quickly. He still pulled for her because she let him, I thought. Of course he would sometimes go crazy for a squirrel or something, but the pulling during the routine walking scenario went way down.
Yeah, I know that's what you're supposed to do, and I did at one point somehow manage to be better about it & get Theo to stop pulling QUITE so much, but I just don't have the patience lately. It's like you walk out of your house and then you just stand there for half an hour because he pulls the whole time. I really need to set some time apart for training the little monster before he devours the world.
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