This has very little to do with what my day has been about, which is mostly work and then going out drinking with J & S at Broadways where, as usual, I pined over my unrequited adoration for someone there, and drank beer, and, yeah, okay, smoked like a half a pack of cigarettes. I don't know what happened over the last coupla days - I was doing so well and then, fuck, kaboom, all I wanted was a cigarette and after 48 hours of craving, I gave in. I tried to smoke myself sick. Sheesh. This quitting shit sucks, sucks, sucks. I'm back on the cig wagon again tomorrow. I swear. And the diet and the less drinking and so on. . .