Lamest Halloween Ever

Well, what do you expect when you have Halloween on a Monday? It kind of bit. M's friends came over and we all carved pumpkins in the front yard, which was nice, and then they went off to go trick or treating in West Asheville. Or so I was led to believe. A came home, and carved a pumpkin, and we killed the $5 wine that I had bought and poured a cup of into the pot roast. Then we waited for trick or treaters. And waited. And waited some more. I put on the world's lamest costume, which consisted of my blue wig, some mardi gras beads and the coolest most awful shirt in the world, which I happen to own. It's an orange and black narrowly striped super polyester short sleeved button down which warps around as you wear it, in a way that is guaranteed to flip out TV monitors everywhere and make normal mortals rub their eyes and blink. I usually wear it bowling.

We waited some more for trick or treaters. The little girl from across the street came by; we gave her 6 or 7 candy bars. A car full of trick or treaters came by, we gave them a lot of candy too. A tried on all her old prom dresses. I whined about the dog, who has spread about 2" of ash over every surface in the house and was in his third day of baying up the chimney every 4 seconds. M called - from Kimberly, which is the rich neighborhood where everyone goes trick or treating. Grrrrr. He had gotten a ride down there with a friend's mom and had promised that I would then drive the friend home. Grrrrrrrrrrr. More trick or treaters showed up, and either they, or some ghost trick or treaters we didn't even see and the dogs didn't bark at, stole all the candy off the front porch. M's friend P, who I had agreed to drive back up to school, showed up, and then we all went in search of M. And I took off the blue wig, which was uncomfortable, and put on my church lady hat. And my coat, because it was cold by then.

Kimberly is really something on Halloween. I'd never been down there before, but damn, those people take it seriously. We finally located M, and his friend G, who we had to, of course, drive back to West Asheville, and then we returned M and P and about a metric ton of candy to school. I've been waiting all day for a furious phone call from the school (they're not allowed to have candy) but so far, no comment, thank the gods.

And then we drove back home and crashed. Most boring Halloween ever. Sigh.