Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Holidays Proceeding Apace

Two days until Thanksgiving and guess what? I still have no stove! My friend C, who had kindly agreed to come over and fix it for me, came down with some bug or other and can't make it. I took the back off the stove yesterday, and it looks pretty simple and self explanatory except for one small problem. The old cord and plug is attached neatly to a black wire, a red wire, and a white wire. The new cord and plug has a black wire, a red wire, a white wire, and a green wire. There's the rub: the extra green wire. That sounds like a 40s detective novel: The Extra Green Wire, by Marjorie St. Waddlesworth, and in fact it kind of feels like a 40s detective novel. As soon as the back of the stove came off I expected a blowsy blonde in a wrapper (whatever the hell that is, some kind of bathrobe? Or do they mean she was actually wrapped, as in plain brown paper? Kinky.) to sashay in and drop a few clues my way. Unfortunately, she didn't turn up, and I was left alone with The Extra Green Wire, which is attached to the cord & plug I bought at Lowes to replace the one that's on the stove that doesn't fit the outlet that's part of the house that Jack built gerryrigged.

I thought about it. I read the baffling orange warning sticker on the back of the stove, which says something about how, if you're putting the stove in a trailer park, you should ground it differently (No lie. I swear it does.) which gave me food for thought, and I considered that the green wire is almost certainly the ground. I thought about what electricity can do if it isn't grounded - it can, among other things, remove you from the ground rather permanently - and I thought, hell, I can do this. Then I thought again and ordered Chinese.

However, I can't go on much longer like this. So if anyone has any information on where I should put the extra green wire, please let me know.

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