I got another call from Kelly Services this morning. I'm getting to know them well, although they still haven't found me anything resembling what I want from them, which is a relatively painless couple of weeks doing data entry or answering phones so I can transition my brain back into the workplace. No, they either offer me stuff like that, then tell me that they'll "submit my resume" and I don't get the job, or, as today, they call to offer me a "real" job for $9 an hour at a call center where there is no hope of advancement because the actual company isn't even anywhere near Asheville and I'd be working 10 hour shifts - after two weeks of training at less money - with no end in sight. I do not want this, although I'm stupid, since I'm desperately broke. I had no idea I'd still be unemployed now. It's starting to freak me out more than a little.
So I've spent the morning trying to figure out how to become a teacher and I haven't figured it out yet, although I did print out a whole bunch of applications and looked at my college transcript for a while. The only class I ever failed was Arts Management, which is just so ironic. In actual fact it wasn't so much that I failed it as that I didn't withdraw in time and thus never even went to the class. Dumb, in retrospect, but please, North Carolina school systems, realize that 20 year old college transcripts just might not offer the clearest image of me available. It doesn't really matter though, since I cannot for the life of me make my way through the maze of PRAXIS II exams and complicated requirements and this and that to even become a substitute teacher, which is apparently nearly damn impossible nowadays. I'd have to take a class and, surprise surprise, the classes are all full. There's one available in March, and I'm going to sign up, what the hell, but god I hope I'm not still unemployed in March. The classes are all full; the websites are forbidding; the maze seems unnavigable and that's just to make $58 a day as a substitute. Becoming an actual teacher seems even worse, but I printed a bunch of application information and I'm going to try. Unless something better comes along. My friend J called to tell me that there's an ad in the Iwanna for, and I quote, "someone to do internet computer work" which could be, you know, anything at all although the chances of it being some complete loon who I visualize as an old man in a wifebeater, spitting tobacco juice and deciding to get in on some of that there internet stuff he's heard about on the tee vee, are high.
In the meantime for a little light relief I have renewed my search for a cel phone ringtone of Warren Zevon's Lawyers Guns and Money but alas, the only thing I can find is Werewolf of London, which is kickass, yes, but not good enough for me to pay $2.50 for and replace my current ringtone I Wanna Be Sedated which I adore and is always appropriate in any circumstances. Although Lawyers, Guns and Money would be awesome. Truly awesome.
If you click on that Ramones link you will get to a video and it's great, if a bit blurry & dark. Or maybe that's my monitor.