Oh, It's Easy to Install RAM

It's so easy to install RAM, you can totally do it yourself. Nothing could go wrong, really. Just snap it in there. No problem.

That's what all my friends said, so I blithely ordered more RAM with my lovely lovely federal tax refund money, got it in the mail in record time, and this morning I sat down to install it, although first I realized that the computer was full of dust & dog hair (well, what isn't around here?) and the can of air was empty, because number one son likes to play with it, especially since he discovered that the dog is terrified of it. I said some choice words on the subject of playing with serious tools to said son and tried to vacuum the inside of the computer, which made the case fan go around - highly entertaining. Also, probably a dumb thing to do, but back to the RAM. It was a little difficult to make it snap in, but I did it, since my friends also said, "It will be harder to snap in than you think, just push it." I did. Then I turned the computer on. Nothing. The little monitor indicator light ominously winked from green to yellow to an alarming orange.

I turned the computer off and then on again. A lovely smell of burning. Oh, no, this is not good. I went out on the back porch for a little communion with the tobacco gods and then tried again. Nothing. I have things I really need to be doing right now, because, oh be still my heart, I'm actually going out of town this weekend and I always freak out before I go out of town. So I called this very nice guy Christopher of Christopher's Computers and told him I thought I'd probably fried the video card with the vacuum or something, and he agreed, and said he'd come over this afternoon.

He did. He ran a few quick tests. Then he looked at my nice new RAM and laughed a little. I put the RAM in backwards and that's what was wrong with the goddamn computer. That's not supposed to be possible, you know - putting the RAM in backwards - but I managed it. The burning smell was one of the little stickers on the RAM melting away. Christ on a crutch. And now, because he's a really nice guy and because I needed these things anyway, he's coming back on Tuesday to put in some more fans and get my USB ports working. I could have taken that money to the beach to blow, but no. I will give it to Christopher instead, because I am too damn dumb to install RAM.