Getting Organized

I woke up this morning determined (once again) to finally get my life in order, clean my house, organize everything, start my own business, make a lot of money, become a paragon of efficiency and virtue and so on. Naturally, I started this crusade with a cup of coffee and the internet, where I found this really great little video which has inspired me even further. Except that somehow that link led me to this one and then, because this is me, I became wildly enthusiastic about the idea of going to the office supply store and buying a lot of nifty organizational stuff. 43 brand new manila folders in different colors, sitting up in a chrome rack, and a Moleskine notebook to be anarchistic in, and while I'm at it. . . uh oh.

So, fortunately, I stopped myself, realizing just in time that spending my carefully hoarded & meagre resources on shiny things that will make me feel like I'm organized is not a good idea. Besides, I put on my overalls this morning in order to make myself clean up, and I can't wear my overalls (nicely layered over a 30 year old holey thermal that was once my brothers, plus an antique once red flannel of my dads) to Office Depot unless I also black out one of my teeth, and I just don't have time for that right now. Look, ma, this is evidence of that wisdom which cometh with age! Over the years I've put the detritus of many a fine organizing system out on the curb. My clutter defies simple organizational techniques and probably needs nuclear fission but really, it's not the clutter in my house that's the issue: it's the clutter inside my brain that needs to be nuked away.

I've actually been thinking about looking for a life coach, who I envision as being somewhat like my old gym teacher and who will come over every day and force me to do things besides sit here in front of the computer reading Pinky & the Brain quotes, giggling and eating peanut butter & soy bacon sandwiches. Unfortunately, I obviously can't pay this poor life coach unless she's willing to work purely on commission. I could maybe bargain away my first born, although that seems a bit unfair to both parties involved - I can hear A now if I start bartering her away for a mess of pottage, my birthright or possibly some magic beans - but other than that all items of value are long gone and it probably is time to sell the children for medical experiments.