Post Holiday Blahs

Actually, I don't really have them. Blahs, I mean. The weather has been too nice, I can't get into my usual January/February/March state of suicidal angst and grim despair. I feel cheated. It's like 60 degrees out and sunny; it's supposed to be sleeting and gray to match my dismal internal anguish. So I'm obsessing over my Christmas credit card bills without the usual apocalyptic edge. Still true that I have to go bankrupt though.

If I was an intelligent girl, I would go back and gently edit that book post instead of being embarrassed by it. It's amazing how enthusiastic one can wax over authors when one has, uh, consumed a fair amount of champagne and beer. Also amazing how many times one can use the verb fuck. Oh well, let it stand as a lesson to us all. The hangover was brutal. I thought I was going to die; my head was throbbing, I thought I might yark, it was all pretty gruesome. I did get up and make hoppin' john & collards though, and served them (why? I've eaten them faithfully every New Years day for like most of my life, and I just keep on getting poorer) and then crawled back into bed, leaving the food on the stove until 11:00 that night, when I threw it all out. I really have ventured into a previously - or not recently anyway - unknown state of sloth and apathy. It's way disgusting yet I find I just don't care. I've also been somewhat less than a model employee this week; witness all my posting hither and yon.

Just went bowling with A. and my friend J. I wish they would sell those fabulous neon shoes to me, but they won't. I tried to buy some for my brother for Christmas but they refused to sell, the fools. The guy who runs the bowling alley has only one arm, and like sort of fingers coming from his shoulder where the other arm would be. He's very nice, but he won't sell his rental shoes, and he never will let me go and bowl over by myself. I hate being jammed in with all the Christian Nascar families with little kids, but he always says the same thing: "No, sorry, those lanes aren't working good. They're fixing them!" Which is clearly a lie, since then other people get to go over and use them. I'm just not cool enough for the lanes on the far right. I love the bowling alley though. There's a poster for anacin or something that says "Bowl through the pain!" and an old vending machine that has strange and arcane bowling stuff "Thumb-Lok" and peds so you won't have to put your bare feet into the rented shoes (although he sprays them out after you give them back) and unbreakable combs, and, wonderful and inexplicable, rubber snakes and lizards "Great Gag!" I wonder if you're supposed to mash them into the holes in the bowling ball and then watch to see somebody freak out: "OMG! There's a . . . neon rubber snake in here. How. . peculiar." And then you can sit in the bar area and drink $1.90 draft bud light and watch TV and smoke heavily - you don't even have to light up to smoke heavily in there. Also, I bowled quite awesomely and got an 85 on my 2nd game. That is, like, my highest bowling score ever. Perhaps I should go pro.

My brain has dried up - hungover again today, I swear it's getting like all I have to do is have 7 beers or so and day-um! Hangover! Heh. I've been hanging out a lot with my friend D. who drinks too much, like me, so we're a bad combo. We have a lofty and fabulous business plan - opening a big contemporary art center downtown - going and I hope we get it together and it happens. The only problem (besides our lazy alcoholic slacker natures) is that it involves raising about $300,000 and between the two of us we might have like $300. It's been strange though, talking and brainstorming with him about it, because for the first time in my life I am realizing that we actually could do this, that we are professionals with contacts and good ideas and all that kind of thing - it's not the same as when we were like 22 and saying Hey! Let's start a gallery! Which I, like all art students, did for a little while - talked a shopping center into giving us a vacant storefront for a couple months, cleaned and painted it and hung our art up on the walls and made obscure collaged posters (this was the 80s) to advertise it and threw a party. And that was that. This is a very different kind of project, and if it comes together it will be AWESOME, bigtime, real and lasting. Also I will have to basically live there and devote my life to it, but that's cool. God knows I need to devote my life to SOMETHING.

Am venturing back into the weird wild world of computer dating, it should be interesting. In the Chinese sense of living one's life in interesting times. I don't know why I bother, every time I've done this it has worked out miserably, I'm much too socially inept for computer dating. But, oh well, what the hell - it isn't like I have anything to lose. Stay tuned for details - film at 11! And, oh yeah, if anyone is interested, I added some pictures here.