The Movie Column

Okay, so I have yielded to nonexistent pressure and become a movie watching lameass slacker. Now, for the first time in years and years, I have a movie player in my living room, and I am a happy little vegetable.

This is what I have watched so far, in roughly reverse chronological order:
Cold Mountain. Almost as depressing as the book, but not quite. Although the depressing effect of Nicole Kidman's really really bad Southern accent added to the overall misery.
The Royal Tenenbaums, okay, not as good as I had hoped it would be, but okay and featuring the to me adorable Owen Wilson, so good eye candy.
Bedazzled, 1990s version, not the really good 60s version. Not good but not as bad as I remembered it being either. I had actually totally forgotten that I saw this movie.
Garden State, I didn't like it. I am like the one person I know who didn't like it, but there you have it. I didn't buy that a 26 year old would never have dumped his meds, and I also didn't get why, if he left town as a 15 year old, he still had so many druggie friends in town. Why do they remember him?
Scotland, PA, ROCKED. This is the best. movie. EVAH.
Moonstruck. I am the only person who had never seen it, and I immediately paused it to do research - it was made in 1987, when Cher was exactly the age I am now (41) and Nicolas Cage (see also, Great Love of My Life) who is exactly my age in real life, was 23. Thus, it gives me hope that I can go ahead and seduce a 23 year old and it will all be okay. Other than that, well, hmmm, it's a nice movie, but not the best thing since sliced bread. Also, Cher's accent sucks. I think.
I, Robot. Will Smith is cute; movie makes no sense, on any level. For example: half the bad shit that goes down could have been prevented by the shocking modern introduction of. . . cameras. Yes! What a far fetched idea! Cameras on the roadway, security cameras in the buildings - I know it's crazy, noone will ever implement such a radical idea.
Princess Mononoke, why don't I just OWN this? Another best. movie. evah.
Spiderman 2: Yuck. Let Doc Ock have him, why the hell not?
Shaun of the Dead: YAY! Extremely funny & gruesome & all round great.
Mona Lisa Smile. Cute.
Around the World in 80 Days. WORST. movie. EVAH. But not bad enough to be good.
Napoleon Dynamite. Wonderful! Fantastic! And reminded me so much of my friend C! And I just genuinely liked this movie, it was so sweet, and muddly, and not quite put together right, like Napoleon. Really good, really really good.