The Whole Problem With Facebook

chickens three
Originally uploaded by mygothlaundry

I hate Facebook. This blog entry is about to go up on Facebook because of something I did months ago that I can't quite figure out how to undo (my other dominant personality trait besides hating Facebook is an abiding, deep, bone laziness) which makes me look like something of a hypocrite but there you have it: just hating Facebook doesn't mean it isn't useful. Well. Sort of useful. I have reconnected with a lot of people I had lost touch with and that is awesome, but Facebook is so awful; it gives me hives. That is partly because I can't figure the fucking thing out. Here I am, all savvy, spending way too much time online since 1996, knowing basic HTML (whoa. I am SO cool.) and yet the Facebook interface reduces me to a gibbering idiot. I can't do a damn thing with it. But my blog goes up there and some of my Tweets and people read them and that's good, I guess, but.

Here's the problem with my blog going up on Facebook: people answer it and say nice things but to reply to them I would have to log in to Facebook, which causes me immediate acute physical pain and thus I never get around to it. I'm going through one of those guilt spasms over this so, look: I'm sorry for not answering! Thank you for commenting! My blog actually lives here and if you go over there, to the real blog, and leave a comment you have a much higher chance of getting a response from me! Not a 100% chance, because I'm lazy and sometimes deeply, deeply weird about messages in general (there have been periods in my life when I have to get my daughter to listen to my voice mails and then tell them to me; even though she always does this with a lot of "Oh GOD mom you are such a loser!" commentary, it's better than facing up to them myself) but I do try to weigh in at least. Mostly. Sometimes. Definitely more than I do on Facebook! I also have been known to answer the occasional email.

In other exciting electronic internet news, I am contemplating putting a sort of permanent link to a kind of flattering page of myself - a personal ad, okay, let's not beat around the bush - with a link here that says something like "Want to date me? Currently accepting applications! Click here." Is this a terrible idea or just a sort of pointless one? I am having no luck at all in the traditional internet dating arenas. I think Susan's cousin was right and I should have lied about my age, because the only guys who have even responded to me have been in their late fifties and early sixties. I have acquired a certain ageism of late - it comes from being pretty damn old, myself - and I don't really want to date anyone more than about 7 or 8 years older than me. Or younger, for that matter, but younger guys never, ever, ever seem to answer the internet ads of older women, so that is not much of an issue. The whole thing strikes me as ridiculous, yes, because I tend to think of anyone within about a decade of my own age as my generation and not worry about it, but apparently I am alone in this.

I never meet anyone in the traditional real life dating arenas either, like bars. I go out to bars, as we know, far too frequently. I go with my friends, hang out with my friends while there and never speak to anyone I don't already know, nor do they speak to me. Perhaps it is the scowl. Who knows?

Yes, okay, this all points out the lamentable fact that I seem to be essentially unfriendly and that is a problem for dating, but I swear, once you get to know me I can be sweet! Sort of! Well, fun, anyway. Sort of. At any rate though, clearly, Something Must Be Done about this dating thing before I become an embittered divorcee with too many dogs - wait. Okay, too late for that, but still, someone had better date me before I end up with another dog or a kitten or a lizard or something. Therefore I am contemplating this idea, a personal ad right here on the old blog, as a New Thing. Input is welcome. Oh and, um, I am accepting applications for dates. Email me.