He won. He won and I was still washing dishes at 1:30 in the morning (since my mother's been gone, I've gotten weirdly obsessive about cleaning the kitchen every night. Go figure) and crying and refreshing Metafilter threads and the NY Times election map and thinking about waking up young M and explaining to him over again how important this is and what it means to him and to me and how there is really hope now, hope for the first time in so long. Then I broke yet another of my father's monogrammed highball glasses, which means that I now only have one. I had them for years and didn't break any but somehow, over the last couple months, they've all broken one by one and I'm seeing it as the final passing and end of an era: that time is gone. Part of that makes me sad - I instinctively reached for the phone to call my mother last night, thinking, oh, I hope she's not asleep and then realized, oh. - but part of me thinks it's okay, that it's time and that it's all going to be alright in the end. There's a new time upon us and for once I'm actually proud of my country and of my state.
Ah. So here I am, mildly hungover and still happy. S had a lovely little election night party last night with all of the usual suspects and we flipped back and forth from CNN to MSNBC to the Comedy Channel to WFMU on C's laptop and worried and worried - I've never worried so much about an election or been so freaked out - and then, suddenly, oh my god, there it was, he won and we ran hooting and shrieking and cheering out into the street. I don't think anybody minded.
What really struck me was the way he asked for sacrifice and asked us to work together for change - compare that, if you will, to Dubya, who, when the country was attacked, suggested that we go shopping to shore up the economy. I almost feel like I've been waiting for my whole life to actually participate in this country that I was born into and of which I have, frankly, only rarely been proud. Now I'm all energized and excited and wow, somehow, on this foggy morning even the leaves seem brighter, the sky bluer and everything just feels - right.
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3 comments:
After the elation of last night, I was confronted by the cold hard fact that ultra conservatives abound when I arrived at work. There is so much work to be done and even more negativity to overcome. I agree, though, that at least we have a thoughtful leader who is not afraid to ask the people to do something other than tune out reality.
Dear Felicity, this is as beautiful a statement as any that has been made about the election. Here we all are. Just doing the dishes and thinking.
I have been reading your blog for about a year now. During this time I have been moved on several occasions by your posts but never felt inclined to post a comment, until today that is!! Wow. What an incredibly eloquent statement. Remembering the past while moving on toward a new era; a new era in your personal life and a new era for our country. Very, very touching. Go Obama!
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