Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Just When You Think Things Can't Get Any Worse

They do. They get much worse. I can never think that things can't get worse again because every fucking time I think that something else really bad happens. Something really bad has happened. I don't want to go into details but rest assured that the smoking remnants of my life, heart and soul have just gotten another direct blow or two.

Let's recap, shall we? I'm starting to feel like Job, here, and I'm also thinking that if this was a movie or a fucking book, nobody would believe it. How much can go wrong for one family how quickly? Oh, let's take a little trip on the short way back machine through 2008, Worst Year of My Life, and find out.

May - dumped by boyfriend before birthday. Oh well. This was nothing, really. QOB has stroke in NYC, gets moved down here to be taken care of by my mother.

June - July - difficulty dealing with QOB, trying to get her to accept new limitations imposed by stroke and subsequent mild dementia, life becomes incrementally more complicated, son is such a hit in the 10th grade that the school demands an encore performance: sophomore, year two.

July - August - attempt to buy a house, go onto rollercoaster whirlwind tour of buying houses, house is on, is off, is on, is off, attempt to navigate through perilous waters of low income first time homebuyer federal loans.

August - mother goes into hospital, I spend days at hospital, care of QOB becomes even more difficult with mother gone, brothers and I juggling back and forth from mother to QOB and so on, mother nearly dies, brother flies down, mother gets better, brother flies back, mother dies.

September - Memorial service, grief, empty out mother's house, empty out own house, make all plans to move into new house, work like dog, mourn, try to put self back together. Car breaks down. Economy collapses. Turns out mother was holding world together after all. Had always suspected as much. QOB becomes increasingly querulous and demanding in face of increased uncertainties and chaos. Car breaks down again. Gas crisis - cannot even drive back and forth between two houses. Juggle somebody staying at mother's house, run two households simultaneously, neither of them well. Everything based and depending on great move to new house on September 26.

Last week of September - Move doesn't happen. New house falls through, possibly temporarily, possibly for always. All plans must be stopped, throwing the delicate balance/house of cards of entire family's life into complete chaos and disaster. New plans made and discarded daily. Nobody knows what to do. QOB responds by becoming angry, demanding plane ticket to NYC, accusations of being held prisoner, etc. Nowhere to move, nowhere to go, daughter heroically attempting to take care of dead grandmother's house and crazy great aunt in face of increased anger and noncooperation. Etc. All hell broken loose. As a capper, son gets suspended from school. And then, October 1: Son, having disappeared for two days, is eventually found - exactly where you never want your teenager to be found.

Yeah. See? Now at any minute the house should burn down or there should be a bad car wreck, or, hey, someting else wonderful is bound to happen. Plague of diseased rats. Cancer. Food poisoning at the very least. It's all been a terrible, terrible downward spiral of worsening everything and it's just getting worse. I just can't fucking wait to find out what's going to happen next.

11 comments:

Arwen said...

It's really fucking pouring.
I am so sorry. I wish I had sage advice but this type of thing makes me curl up in a ball.

zen said...

SH!T, just SH!T.

Anonymous said...

Hi Felicity – You don’t know me, but I’ve been a devoted reader of your blog for some time. Your posts have made me smile during crappy days in my own life (though of course none have come near to the crappiness level you’re currently enduring). I hope you can find someone, or something out there to make you feel at least a little better, and a little more hopeful that this mess has to get better eventually…because it sure has to. Hang in there.

Schuyler said...

Jail? what did he do - lie about his age? I wish I had something to say that would help....

mygothlaundry said...

Alas, yes - he stumbled over the year (my hopeless dyslexic kid) and that counted as resisting arrest. Then they got it right but 16 is an adult in North Carolina. Yup, adult and thus they don't have to notify his parents or anything (except give him extra milk) and when they release him they can do it when his parent isn't even there. That last turned out okay. But still. It's been a long and really, really horrible day.

Andy from the 'burg said...

I failed 10th grade too. But aside from that you are living that "Great American Novel" and when you write it all down will make you a millionaire. Except once you write it, it will go in the non-fiction section at the bookstore.

ej said...

Good grief, I can only assume that there is some awesome karma awaiting you on the other side of this ordeal. Please know that there are so many people rooting for something good to happen to you soon.

Anonymous said...

LOL@this comment you on metafilter: "chimps don't go out on their own and bludgeon things to death to my knowledge"

Your knowledge is incorrect. Read Pinker's Blank Slate or Wrangham's Demonic Males for evidence of raids and violence by our close cousins.

Let me guess though. You are one of those 'progressives' who deny biology no matter the facts right? Much like wacko right wing christians who hate science.

jaybird said...

Hey Anonymous, is this the time and the place for you to post this shit? How's about a little appropriateness, you cowardly troll?! Take your snark elsewhere, there's real life going on in here.

mygothlaundry said...

Actually, anonymous, I already talked about that on the mefi post in question, but apparently you didn't get down that far? I'm perfectly aware that chimps bludgeon things to death and fight each other and do all kind of mean nasty ugly things. So, um, no, I'm not denying biology. Thanks for trying, though!

mygothlaundry said...

You know, it's been ages since I had a troll on here. Let's poke it with a stick and see what it does! Come back, troll! Say something else without even bothering to read the whole post and my second comment! Troll! Where are you?