Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Non Humans I Have Spoken With Recently

1. The coffee machine at work.
"You can do it. You're a good, good machine. Yeah, I love you."
2. A very large daddy long legs spider
"Wow! You're a huge one. You're a marvel, you are. A freak of nature. Do you know that?"
3. My dog
"Why is it that you want to eat that grass? Is it better than the grass at home? What makes it so tasty?"
4. A baby cardinal
"Aw! You're so cute! Look, your dad is coming - yeah, you can fly. I know you can fly."
5. A three legged cricket
"Hold still now. Just hold on a minute and we'll have you out of there - hey! Come on! Do you want to get out of this bathtub or not? Because I'm telling you, the bathtub is just not where you really want to be. Now calm down and we'll get you out of there."
6. Photoshop
"Geeze-us. How hard would it be to have a crop tool? Come ON. Okay. This isn't rocket science - just open the image, it'll be alright."

Felicity's ReAssure'O'Rama - being upbeat and affirming to the non sentient world since 1970.


Edgy Mama said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

mygothlaundry said...

What scares me is that there are times when I'm nicer to the toaster than I am to my family. ;-)