Wait! This is all a lie! Well, not the 2nd paragraph. But the first one is, because after I finished writing this, and my cel phone minutes had made their magical transmogrification into free, I called the number on the jury summons sheet and I don't have to go after all. Damn. And I was just planning my costume.
I have jury duty tomorrow. I'm excited and planning on wearing mostly black, with all my tattoos showing, and carrying a sketchbook and a large science fiction novel. I also plan to scowl a lot and I wish I had a Communist Party card so I could pin it to my shirt, but alas. Maybe I can photoshop something in the large red star area up tonight. This is because I do not want to get picked. This is the second time I've ever been called and the above strategies (code name: operation surly anarchist art student) worked quite well the first time.
The first time was in Baltimore, and they called me for 3 trials but picked me for none, thank god. The third one was a murder trial, and the defendant was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought so, since when they asked if anyone should be excused on account of knowing him, this girl stood up and said in a low voice "I used to date him." They got her out of there in a hurry and I was struck by how seeing your ex as the defendant for a murder trial would pretty much qualify as up there with weirdest and worst days ever. So let's all hope I don't get picked and sequestered or anything insane like that. Unless there any large celebrity trials coming up in Asheville. That might be fun, but we have a certain shortage of large celebrities, it is true.