Last night I "volunteered" at the Asheville Art Museum's wine/beer tasting. I was a silent auction volunteer, which means I was supposed to stand by the silent auction tables and make sure nobody stole anything. I did some of that, but mostly I walked around and drank high alcohol beer. It was yummy, but it was weird being back at the museum, and I think it's time to officially drop the fantasy that a) I could get my old job back and b) I even want my old job back. I don't think I want it, although everyone was all happy to see me and shit. They probably wouldn't be so happy today, since I evilly booked out of there early, which is a truly evil volunteer thing to do, but I feel that I have cleaned up after enough museum parties. It was my turn to be evil, bwah. I went with my brother & some friends to the New New & sucked down PBR, with the result that I was a little out of it this morning.
Which is why, although I woke up at 4:30, 7:00, 8:00 and 9:00, I still managed to sleep through my 10 am volunteer assignment for the Red Cross. I did one of those, oh god please I just need 15 more minutes of sleep, I'll just doze things and woke up at 11. D'oh! I suck! I am forgiving myself for this one though. I already volunteered for the Red Cross twice this week and neither time would anyone have noticed if I hadn't shown up, since they had approximately 3 times as many volunteers as they needed. So I'm really hoping the same was true today. I do feel guilty. I am a bad, bad person - but we knew that.
So the bad bad person fortified herself with gatorade and aspirin and went on over to pick up her mother and brother and take them to the fair. I was hungry and planning on eating some seriously horrible fair food and taking some seriously wonderful fair photos but my mom got tired after an hour and we had to leave. I was cranky about this and in fact I still am. Grrrrrr. I didn't even get to go in the sideshow I photographed, and I really wanted to see the 2 headed raccoon. I'm going back to see it. Yes. I will return to the fair! And then I will eat cheese fries, lo, and unto the multitudes will I drink lots of coca cola, and eat a fried onion, and maybe some fried dough, and possibly a caramel apple or some fudge. And a Polish sausage sandwich, and an eggroll, and a corn dog, and some greasy pizza. After this I will waddle through the freak show and take pictures of the Dixie Starlight Express, which is a bunch of really extremely white girls on horses, waving big patriotic flags around and invoking the name of Jesus. Last time I saw it one girl had shaved her horse's butt hair into crosses, which I thought was sort of a two edged symbol, and another one had painted her horse red, white and blue, with stars and stripes. Go, Dixie Starlight Express! Dash around the ring at a gentle canter and pass the flagpole from one blonde Baptist sorority sister to another!