Monday, August 10, 2009
enter the chicken
1. At work, it's one of my jobs to z out the register every week. If you've never worked retail, that means counting all the money that's in there and reconciling it with the register tape and figuring out the deposit. I like doing this: sometimes I like numbers. I really like it best, though, when there's just a little tiny error - stuff like 44 cents more in the register than there should be. That makes me all happy for some crazy reason - I like thinking about that 44 cents, loose in the world, not making any sense, having no reason for being, but still there. It's the same when it's a deficit except then it seems to me that the change has escaped and is out on a wild road trip. Run free, little pennies! Run wild, run free!
2. Every time Vampire Bill on True Blood says "Soooookiee!!" with that anguished tone in his voice I crack up. I have to say it myself, too, sometimes more than once, and it makes me laugh every single time. I'm saying it now and giggling.
3. When I was smoking a cigarette in the courtyard at work today I looked to the side and there was a woman on the other side of the windows. It was just like we were at Tom's Diner - well, okay, except that I was outside and she was inside and also, it wasn't raining and it wasn't in New York and there was no obnoxious dance beat anywhere but otherwise, I tell you, exactly like it - she did not know she was being observed. She did a little jig in the hallway and I could see her counting steps under her breath. I looked away so she wouldn't know I'd seen her dancing but, hallway dancing lady, for the record, you are awesome.
4. How could I have forgotten about Echo & the Bunnymen? That was totally stupid of me and I must fix it immediately.
5. Last week I saw a cop fall off his Segway. If I had had a video camera running at that exact moment in time I would be a Youtube sensation now or possibly I'd have been arrested for being a Material Witness of an Embarrassing Moment, but alas, I had no camera and there was nobody else around. Just me, a cop, his crashing Segway and the table that inexplicably leaped in front of him. Cops on Segways are just a really bad idea on all levels. They look ridiculous; any five year old can escape one by doing something fiendishly clever like running up or down some stairs and obviously - obviously - Segways are terribly dangerous. The police officer in question said his Segway must be broken. It looked to me like he mixed up the gas and the brake but then on the other hand it was also looking to me like he was showing off. Hee. I'm glad he wasn't hurt but damn, just goes to show, we should all be constantly recording our lives in real time in case of sudden storms of slapstick humor.