She's lost her mind. I don't want to say anything, I mean, she's the Mom and the Keeper of the Kibble and all, not to mention the Driver to the River, but this time I think she's gone too far. There's a new creature in the house and I'm pretty sure it's a funny looking squirrel. It's small like a squirrel and it climbs like a squirrel and, well, maybe something happened to its tail. You know, one of my most important jobs is to make sure that squirrels don't get too close to the house - Theo and I let the whole neighborhood know when anyone is threatened by squirrels, actually; it's hard, thankless work but we keep at it - and here she goes not only letting it indoors but letting it sleep in her hair! A squirrel, even if it is a weird looking squirrel that makes really alarming noises almost constantly, right there on her bed! Well, I ask you. Theo and I aren't even allowed on her bed and that noisy thing, whatever it is, is sleeping on her pillow. And to think she gets all mad and shouts Jesus at me when I express my undying affection by eating her pillow all up out of the pure love of my heart. Something's very wrong here and I think she must have been brainwashed.