Friday, January 11, 2008

The Way My Brain Works

I rescued a worm from the sidewalk this morning. I had to use two twigs like chopsticks to do it (sorry to be all girly-girl, but touching worms is just one of those things, like mice, that I have stereotypical issues with - mainly, it makes cold chills run up and down my whole body and I tend to jump and shake violently) but I finally got him safely over to the mulch. I'm assuming here that mulch is something worms can dig through to earth more easily than sidewalk but I could be wrong about that - this was pretty serious mulch. I found him (worms are asexual. I want to say him or her here but that would be wrong and the default is him. I have issues with this but that can of worms can be opened in another post sometime. Or not.) while I was smoking a cigarette and it took me a while of watching to decide whether or not to effect a rescue maneuver there. As I smoked and watched, these are just some of the pressing, burning questions that went through my brain: Should I rescue that worm? Why is there a worm on the sidewalk in January anyway? Isn't that just wrong? What if I rescue that worm and my rescuing of that worm puts some bird who was counting on that worm for his protein in jeopardy and then that bird doesn't reproduce and eventually there's a sparrow drought in downtown Asheville? Am I fucking with the forces of cosmic nature here? Is there some kind of karmic debt for that? What if that worm was put in my way specifically by some small bored god wanting to find out what I would do and what if by rescuing it I throw that god's perceptions of humanity all off? Hey, I wonder if anybody else remembers that parody of the We Are the World song that went We Are The Worms, Under the Sidewalk? Did that come from Weird Al or Sesame Street? And, most importantly, what if I go to rescue it and I have to touch it? Ewwwwww!

M is coming for the weekend and he'll be here this evening and this is making me all happy. We're probably going to go to the Westville and play trivia tonight, y'all, I'm going to send out an email any minute now, but who wants to come along? M & I are not good on pop culture but pretty frickin' excellent on such important topics as alternative & punk rock, art, literature, weird science & nature, medieval European history (me) and baseball (him.) This leaves us in need of some movie people, some showtunes people, some football people and some politics people. Trivia at the Westville tonight! 9:00! Be there!


Edward said...

Where the hell were you and M? The spider cookies team did terrible without you. We missed answers like Robert Johnson, Bobby Knight, and a baseball manager question.

mygothlaundry said...

OMG I didn't see you! We were there - got there a bit late, but there - we were the Bar Stools team. We didnt' do real well either, though.

Edward said...

well, duh. that's typical for me not to find you in a small bar. We were there early and hunkered down though I did poke my head up and look around a couple times. We gave up after the half time.