The Hysterically Funny Email from my Brother

I sent my brother the following, with the subject line NSFW Question:

Do you think it would be unimaginably weird if I got Auntie A. a dime bag or a couple joints for Christmas? I mean obviously not to open in front of the whole family (now THAT would be worthy of its own short documentary film) but as a sort of auxiliary gift? I have no CLUE what to get her but I am assuming that she is still a total stoner?Would it get her busted flying back to NY or do they not care about pot in domestic travel, just explosives?

and he sent me back this, which caused me to practically ruin my keyboard by spitting coffee all over it.

Gee, haven't you heard? Why, George Bush has legalized pot for anyone travelling on planes, especially senior citizens! His new "Get High Before You Fly" campaign is really taking off (pun intended)! Gosh, do you live in a cave? I mean the sign before you go through security has an X mark through tweezers and nail clippers, but a smily face on a pot leaf that says "THC AOK"...you must not have flown in ages. Why airport security would never think of throwing an old woman in jail just for a few joints. No, they'll save that for old women who justy look at them funny. "Stoned, maam?" the guards usually ask. "tee hee, a little" is the reply. "Have a nice trip," the guard answers, ushering her through. I must have seen this on countless occasions. So, sure, feel free to load A. up with pot--hell why stop at a dime bag, line her clothes with the shit--while your brother escorts her through security. I really want to spend my holidays bailing my aunt out of jail.

P.S. Look, if you really want to be like mom and stock up on stuff before we arrive, make sure there's beer in the fridge.