M. has been diagnosed: ADHD and a classic goddamn case of it. I can't argue. I wish I could; I've spent half my life vociferously denying the very existence of ADD or ADHD and here's my son, a poster child. Not much you can say, really, when the kid displays every single fucking symptom in the book.
And sitting there in the psychiatrist's office it was actually kind of obvious, as M. by degrees turned himself upside down, juggled balls, made cathedrals of his fingers and peered through them, wiggled his shoes off his feet, and on and on. Stuff I have always chalked up to him just being a boy, or just being M., or just, well, just. The shrink asked, well, what was he like as a small child? And I said, wonderful, he was wonderful, except of course that he never stopped moving, climbed everything he saw, was a small tornado moving through all environments. I laughed and said, this is the kid I found on top of the refrigerator when he was 10 months old and he couldn't even walk yet, this is the kid who climbed before he could crawl, who did this and this and this - all stuff I am absurdly proud of - and I watched, then, the shrink scribbling notes and exchanging glances with the coworker and realized, oh. This is ADHD.
Of course, I've had people telling me this since he was 3 and I've refused utterly to listen; is my current determination to agree to call it ADHD and say it can be treated just the obverse of my stubborn then refusal to call it anything? Maybe there's some happy medium here I'm missing entirely? And what about the health food store stuff; I did try some of that when he was in 2nd grade and the teachers were saying they couldn't have him in their classrooms anymore; it maybe helped or maybe it was just that he agreed to try so hard. . . he was miserable all that year, it was horrible for him, trying as hard as he did and not, really, getting anywhere. ANd, of course, it was 3rd grade, the next year, when they started all the testing and discovered the learning disabilities.
The ongoing rollercoaster of M. Who is, by and far and large, the sweetest, coolest, most genuinely wonderful kid you might ever hope to meet.
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4 comments:
Hello mygothlaundry,
Your Angst and etc. post caught my attention while I was doing some research on kid adhd.
I am currently in the process of creating a holistic treatment program for adhd. The idea is to integrate various treatment modalities so that anyone can benefit.
Would you care to share some of the secrets that you have gleaned from adhd.
My subscribers would certainly appreciate any insight that you have to offer.
Thank you for your post, it was a good read.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Warmest regards,
Hoe Bing
Hi mygothlaundry,
I've seen this post before but important things are always worth reminding. After all, repetition is the mother of learning.
Hello mygothlaundry,
Thank you for your informative blog, it is good to see that people are still sharing their knowledge and experience.
I am currently working on finding the latest information on teenager with adhd when I came across your site. My passion is in the area of teenager with adhd and after finding your blog, I believe we have a real synergy and that my subsrcibers would benefit from your perspective on the topic.
I would very much appreciate it if you would take the time to have a look at my adhdpodcaster blog. If you think that we do have a common goal (which I think we do), then please feel free to post any relevant information to the blog.
Whatever area that ties into adhd would be fine, even if it is with relation to personal development (especially time management), you know how notoriously hard it is to keep track of time especially for us :)
Anyways, really looking forward to your post.
Thank you for the blog, keep up the good work
Great blog. Thought you might enjoy what I stumbled across.
Cheers.
podcaster
http://www.theadhdspecialist.com
Children with ADHD
There is a perplexing state of affairs in today's society, there lies a strong correlation between the affluence of a society and the amount of disease that is present. There is also another correlation that troubles many a people and that is with affluence comes disease at an Earlier age.
Working with children and the parents of these children I often get asked the question, 'Why are Children with ADHD on the increase?'
The answer as you shall find is one that is both interesting and challenging.
Children of today are really no more different from the children of yesterday in terms of genetic makeup. However, if you examine the issue more closely you will tend to find that many children today have been given labels. For example, 'Oh, those are children with ADHD' or 'Those are the children who can't sit still.' Or 'That is the kid that always gets into trouble.'
These labels are not only destructive but also become a self fulfilling prophecy as it is repeated adnauseum.
So as a 21st century parent or a parent with a child with ADHD or a parent with children with ADHD, what knowledge framework do you need to equip yourself with to ensure your children live out their true potential?
Here is a quick reference list for thinking about ADHD
� ADHD is a source of great frustration because it is misunderstood
� ADHD medications are a great short term time buying device and should be avoided long term
� The above point goes for any sort of drug consumption. Think about it for a minute. Unless you have a biochemical deficiency in your body like Type 1 diabetes where your body fails to produce enough insulin or any at all, why would you take an external drug? A body that is in balance is totally healthy. It is only when the body is out of balance that dis-ease symptoms start to creep up.
� ADHD is a biochemical imbalance of the mind and body.
� The Head of Psychiatry in Harvard states that drugs for ADHD simply mask the effects of ADHD. It does not cure ADHD. This is an important point because a cure implies never to have to take the medication. This means that once you start on medication you will have to be on it for the rest of your life i.e. you have medically acquired a dependency for a biochemical imbalance. That is like stuffing all your rubbish (problematic behaviors) into a closet (medication) where no one can see it. But if you continue to stuff more rubbish into that closet, one day you will not have enough space and need to do one of two things. You either empty the rubbish (the natural conclusion) or you get a bigger closet (i.e. change to stronger medication to control the symptoms). The choice is obvious but sometimes when you don't have the necessary tools to deal with ADHD you tend to think the bigger closet is the only option.
� ADHD children are super sensitive to the emotions around them. Often they pick up emotional cues from their parents without realizing. Many parents come home frustrated or annoyed from work, the child with ADHD picks this up and starts to 'cause trouble' by becoming restless. Parents frustration increase because they just want some peace and quiet. They get angry which in turn is picked up by the child who then intensifies their activity. Things get way out of hand and some sort of punishment is handed down to the child who has no idea what just happened. The cycle repeats itself every so often.
� Our brains are wired emotionally. Positive praise is interpreted as an analytical/thinking exercise. Negative criticism including scolding, name calling, physical punishment all go directly to the emotional brain of children with ADHD. This means in order to ensure you get your message across in the most optimal way, you need to learn how to communicate with your ADHD children the way they like to be communicated with.
� Every negative comment requires 16 positive comments to neutralize the emotion. Save yourself the frustration and agitation by practicing positive communication.
The list is by no means complete. In dealing with children with ADHD there are a certain set of behavioural principles to follow. I will detail these steps in the coming weeks. I'll also build on the list as you continue to learn about what appears to be a mystical disorder known as 'Children with ADHD'
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