Friday, February 19, 2010

More Random Shit

Somebody just told me to keep my box of rocks and I believe they are correct. See, I have a box of rocks and shells in the garage that I haven't unpacked in the last three moves and it has occurred to me that perhaps I could part with it. But as we all know, I'm a pack rat and the thought of losing my box of rocks makes me breathe funny. That is okay, because I have thought of a use for it. I will carry it around with me and when it is necessary to chide someone for their stupidity I will point at it and say, "Do you know what you are as dumb as? This. This is what you are as dumb as." I see no flaws in this immaculate plan.

I think my fish oil got old and stopped working; either that, or the sheer overwhelming weight of crazy horrible shit that has landed on my head over the course of the last ten days has just overwhelmed it. Tangentially related, another fish in the aquarium has died. My son inquired why we should keep on buying fish, since they just die. I responded by singing - well, mangling, since I don't know any of the words - that horrible song from the Lion King about the Cycle of Life, which would have been way more apropos if I was a) eating my fish and b) king of them. Perhaps I should be melting them into oil rather than throwing them away. Anyway, I need more fish now. You can mail them to me.

I am not watching the Olympics because I don't really have a TV set. That is to say, there are actually two TV sets, old ones, in the house but they're both downstairs in Teenage Wasteland so the teenagers can play video games on them and watch informercials in the wee hours of the morning. I would kind of like to watch the figure skating - all the other sports bore and confuse me and then I start shouting at the TV because I feel they pay too much attention to the Americans, when I would really prefer to use the Olympics as a sort of National Geographic thing and focus on small, strange countries that have one athlete competing in one obscure unheard of sport. This is probably bad for me, and I don't want to see figure skating enough to venture into teenage wasteland, so I am just not watching. It's okay, though, because the internet is gleefully dissecting the figure skating costumes for me and that is pretty damn awesome.

1 comment:

This Girl said...

I split my side laughing over the idea of carrying a box of rocks around for that special moment. Genius!