Monday, October 26, 2009

I Am Martha Stewart

out for a stroll
Originally uploaded by mygothlaundry
This past weekend, I cleaned my entire house, mopped the kitchen floor, did laundry, pulled all the frost killed dead stuff out of the garden, mowed both the front and back yards, stayed cool when my neighbor dropped a tree on my fence and into my yard, half finished an extremely, um, funky outdoor candle holder, made pesto from the last of the basil and froze half of it, went shopping with my daughter, read two Juliet Marillier books, started Infinite Jest, watched several episodes of Legend of the Seeker, had an active and interesting dream life and still had time to drink beer with my friends and relatives and smoke too many cigarettes. I am telling you, I AM Martha Stewart and not only that, I have a Halloween costume. Okay, it's a lame as hell costume but it is a costume and I plan to wear it on Halloween, so, you know, all the criteria are met.

Now it is Monday and I am tired.

In a complete nonsequitur, my daughter needs a plastic Viking helmet; anybody have one they can part with or know of where one could be obtained for less than $20? We went to the Halloween superstore (featuring superslutz wear!: any, yes any, character in popular culture reimagined in a really short dress and fishnets! Even though that makes no sense!) and decided that $20 was a bit much for a plastic Viking helmet, cool and amazing though it might be. It's annoying because I could swear we used to own one - hell, possibly more than one - but it has vanished into the mists of time or maybe the garage.


Gratuitous said...

An idea: charge people $20 bucks a head to rifle through your garage and emerge in the costume of their choice! Normally, there would be no takers for such a narrow search area, but this... is... that weird but tré cool Hangover Girl's garage! Combo treasure hunt; the finder of the Viking helmet gets their $20 back. And you know you've got one or more in there somewhere; you know it (probably even one with blond braids glued to it). The voyeuristic aspect alone is worth a twenty. You'll need to hire security, of course. Oh, and my bud Jimmy (McMurtry) said he's in. He said don't you dare clear out the vintage underthings until he's had a proper gander.

Edgy Mama said...

I'm sure we have a plastic viking helmet--but it may be sized for an 8-year-old. Does A, by chance, have a smallish head?

gordonsmithforasheville said...

Awesome Viking helmets at The Leader building downtown in that funky little store that sells Russian ephemera, rugs, and typewriters...

mygothlaundry said...

Gratuitous, you're a genius. Send your friend Jimmy over for the weekend, would you?

alas, edgy, I think we have outgrown the 8 year old helmet but if all else fails I might ask you to bring it to the blog party on Friday!

Yeah, the weird Leader store downtown does have them - METAL viking helmets that cost like $200. Still, it's almost worth it; it's not like they ever go out of style!

Edgy Mama said...

Now I can't find the damn Viking helmet. But I did find a Pirate hat that fits me--so I will be Johnny Depp without the great cheekbones tomorrow night.

I also found Devil's horns, a tiger costume (adult-sized), bunny ears, and a sunflower headband. If you need any of the above.