Friday, February 15, 2008


You will notice there is no picture of a heron on this ornithologically titled post. That would be because I am just not fast enough at fumbling my camera out of my pocket and taking pictures when a heron unfolds itself like Japanese calligraphy right in front of me at 7:30 in the morning and then flaps away downriver in achingly slow motion. It was pretty fucking cool, though, and on the bird beauty scale, the great blue heron has the Canadian goose beat all to hell and back.

In other news, I'm trying hard not to get sick, since my throat is a little scratchy and my nose is a little stuffy, but I think it might be a combination of hypochondria and the power of suggestion. Still, I'm spraying myself with Zicam (check it out! The Zicam site has a cold and flu tracker! A boon for the hypochondriac cartographer! How sweet, and also, Asheville's risk is only moderate. Phew. I'll ignore all the people I actually know with the flu - they're clearly not on the map. Well, they wouldn't be - no health insurance.) with touching, childish faith even though it says to spray the "root of your mouth" and as far as I can tell, my mouth is kind of rootless. But Zicam tastes utterly disgusting, so it must work. I liked Airborne for a while too, because it also tastes repulsive, but I gave that up when I heard that if you knock back too many of those festive powders you can overdose just like a 19th century Arctic explorer feasting away on polar bear liver. Mostly I just rely on an Emergen-C every morning, which I have managed to make a habit, since I actually like the taste and, with more of that touching faith in patent medicines, I think it will stop the cigarettes and alcohol from killing me sooner than I would prefer. Besides, it's good for hangovers.

In other news, there is no other news. I'm leaving for Charleston in like an hour, so I'll see y'all next week. Have a good weekend and all that! Don't do anything I wouldn't do - you know that leaves you wide, wide open. Here is a belated Valentine's card for everyone - hey, it's a timeless message that's just always true.

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