Angst and Family

The phone rang at 9 this morning; I figured it was Mom with the day's list, but it was M, deep in the throes of early adolescent angst. Poor kid. He's mad because we're not rich. Hell, I'm mad because we're not rich. I'm furious with myself for not growing up and getting this career thing organized and making a whole bunch of money and having power nannies or power lunches or power anything, really. I do have a couple of power tools, but it's just not the same. And they're not even the big manly macho kind, either. Then the phone rang again and it was Mom with the day's list, which required running hither and yon. So I got up and took a shower, and then A called because she had forgotten her server book when she went to work and please, Mom, can you drive it over, like now? So I got all cranky as hell. She called back and said it was okay, somebody loaned her one, but I'm damned if I'm going to miss a good funk, so I stayed mad and cranky and blue. Therefore I got in the car and drove down the highway. I wanted some dumb rock n' roll to listen to loud while I drove too fast and smoked cigarettes, as is the way of the 42 year old perpetually adolescent, but there was nothing on the radio and I had to make do with the Smiths. The Smiths are the prescription for a different kind of angst altogether, so I summoned that one up to add to my cheery list.

But then I got there and was pleasantly surprised to run into my cousin F, who has been visiting his parents in Jackson County and was back enroute to home in Baltimore. He's A's godfather and a sweet guy and I don't get together with my cousins often enough, which is sad because I like them all and they always make me feel like a little kid (five brothers, all older than me) which is not to be overlooked as a general good feeling emotion. So that was good. And then they played Cheap Trick on the radio, which was also good, and then I took a nap, plus 10 good, and now my friend J in New York is sending me loud power rock with the magic of the internets and this is ultra good, better, best. Perhaps I will hold off on the Lexapro a little longer.