Must . . Leave. . My . . Job

The ellipses in the title signify true spiritual anguish, or that you should say that out loud in a kind of tortured Frankenstein's monster way. However you say it, it is true, I have made the decision to quit this job in four to six weeks whether i have another job or not. That is very very scary, but the prospect of staying here is far scarier. I simply cannot do this anymore. This job is impossible and it's starting to erode my soul. However, I have to keep it until all M's post operative doctor's appointments etc. have taken place, so that Blue Cross will pay for some of them at least.

The reasons why this job is impossible are so numerous that it's hard to enumerate them. For the record, I genuinely like and admire all the people who work here, including my bosses. However, it's just not a good fit for me; I'm not happy, I'm not accomplishing much of anything, and this is all just NOT GOOD.

This kind of thing is why you should always stick by the vows you make when you're in your late teens and early twenties. At one point I made a solemn vow never to work in food & bev again and I was right. I am just not cool enough - or driven enough - or whatever enough - for this lifestyle.

So I have to find another job or two jobs or some form of income. Why oh why is it so fucking hard to just find a Monday - Friday job, with insurance, vacation, sick leave & reasonable holidays (like Memorial Day, July 4, that kind of thing) that pays a semi living wage? Keep in mind that I make less than $35,000 a year - I'm not demanding a lot. And I'm smart, educated, experienced & get along with coworkers. God I wish I was independently wealthy.