General Musings and Metafilter Crushes

I am alone at home. For the first time in a month. It's quite, um, odd. I'm not sure exactly how to act or what to do. I made dinner - but that was when I still thought the kids were coming home, and now I know they're not. Dag. Now what? Besides, I mean, eating half of it (and it was good too, son) and, well, drinking. Actually I did that right after work, at work in fact. That invention of demons, the shift drink - thank the gods. Then I dragged my friend J over to the brewery to check out the cute new bartender. I had a crush on the old cute bartender, but it was quite a silent one: he had a girlfriend. This bartender is new territory and extremely cute with a wicked glint in his eye that it's quite possible I'm just imagining. He probably has a girlfriend. They mostly do.

Having crushes on bartenders or rock stars is a fairly painless way of pretending I have a social life. They're too busy to really be bothered with me but they have to be polite and I can build that into a relationship in my head. Nobody gets hurt or rejected - it's right up there with my mostly silent internet crushes. At the moment I have crushes on 4 guys on metafilter (if the link doesn't work try again later. It's mostly down these days.) and they know nothing about it. Very sweet and painless. Except one of them wrote a serious askme the other day and I didn't dare to answer it - well, I also had no answer. Damn.

So I have a new philosophy of life: if the signs all point in one direction, it feels like the fates are steering you somewhere and your instincts say YES - run the fuck away as fast as you can. The malevolent gods are toying with you again. They want to watch you squirm. Trust me on this one. I've gone with my instincts twice in the last six months: 1)job, 2)dog - and both times may well have been two of the more horrendous mistakes of my life.

The tenses are wrong somehow in that previous sentence but I can't be bothered to fix them. A is home. Back to the madness!