Friday, December 11, 2009

Holidays Ahoy!

stilt houses
Originally uploaded by mygothlaundry
Did you realize that there are only something like nine or eleven shopping days until Christmas? Yes, isn't that depressing? I don't know what it is about this year but my internal calendar is no longer working. Instead of being all "Holidays, ah yes, make cards," I'm more like "Holy shit how can it be December already?" which is following nicely right up on my panic of last month, "Holy shit, how can it be November already?" Apparently, in my mind it's July. Or possibly last March.

So I am not ready for Christmas and since I'm hosting a holiday party tomorrow night, that's a problem. I have not made a single holiday craft and I have not even considered doing Christmas cards. The nativity scene is languishing away in the garage with all the holiday ornaments (the outdoor lights are up but I haven't gotten around to running an extension cord to Frosty yet - that would be because I suck) and the dogs have not even eaten a single cheap Santa hat yet this year. Up until last night I had bought exactly two presents and one of those only became a Christmas present because I found something far more awesome for my son for his birthday.

Ah yes, the birthdays. Why are all my friends and relatives either Sagittarians or Capricorns? As I do every year, I will hereby advise all parents to be that having both your children born within three weeks of December 25 sucks donkey balls in hell. Don't do what I did! Double wrap that sucker in the early spring! Otherwise, you will suffer financially in no uncertain way every winter solstice for the rest of your life, not to mention the general calendar induced frenzies.

Due to birthdays, procrastination, work and other perils of modern life, I have managed to thoroughly doom myself. Tomorrow, I have to go buy a tree, set it up, at least light it and haul the baby jesus out of hibernation for his starring role on the coffee table along with the various Buddhas and pagan deities I like to include in my nativity scene. Then I need to get a present for the Dirty Santa party I'm having that evening (get your mind out of the gutter. Alas, it is not a dirty Santa party in, you know, that way. Pity. I think I'm getting old enough where I find Santa attractive, which is kind of alarming.) and a present for my metafilter secret quonsar person and, and, and - eeep. I have to go shopping. Oh god. I probably ought to bring baby jesus along for the ride.

1 comment:

Blasé said...

"holy shit".. Batman!