Changes and All That

orchid
Originally uploaded by mygothlaundry

Remember how on Monday I said that there were big changes afoot and all that good stuff? Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, yes, thank you, David. Well, they're more or less here: as of this coming Wednesday, I am joining the ranks of the great American unemployed. Hello recession blues! Hello, unemployment office! Hello, dusty black and white Dorothea Lange style photographs, men in fedoras and kids in dresses made from flour sacks! Yep, the recession was a little late in reaching Asheville (just like fashion) but it seems to be here and due to budget crises and crunches, my job has been eliminated. The museum has been really nice about it, though, and I still like the place and the people and the rocks and all that good stuff. It is, as they say, just one of those things. Who they are that say something so simultaneously banal and evil, I don't know, but there it is: just one of those things.

It's okay, though. I am somehow not entirely depressed about this but instead am seeing it as an opportunity. No, seriously. There are a whole lot of things that I want to accomplish in the next few years and I'm hoping that maybe this is the kick in the pants that I have been needing in order to get me to actually do those things. I've been here almost four years and they've been good years, but, well, all things come to an end.

However, yes, being unemployed would be highly excellent if I had won the lottery but as of today, I have not. Therefore there is gonna be a serious cash flow problem around Hangover Headquarters quite soon, so, HEY! Facebook people! I NEED YOU TO STOP READING THIS BLOG ON FACEBOOK AND ACTUALLY CLICK ON THE LINK AND LOOK AT IT HERE. I know, you'll get that scary little warning that says you're leaving Facebook and I understand that that makes you all edgy and afraid but you can do it. There's a whole other internet out here! And if you look at my blog on its own proper page, you will be counted as looking at the ads (if you wish to click them that is also awesome.) The paltry revenue I am expecting from my first blog foray into crass commercialism will only appear if people look at the actual blog, off Facebook, so I'm asking for your sacrifice here. I mean, look, this is now going to be my only source of beer money so you know it's desperate. And if you're not on Facebook, well, then thank you for visiting the blog! Come back like a million times and you will have bought me a PBR, a PBR which I really need. Will write sort of semi funny shit for beer! Cheap beer! More expensive beer gets you better jokes, I swear.

I am also looking for a job, or possibly more than one job, and if you know of any jobs or if you yourself have a job that needs filling, please consider me. I can type. I have access to the internet. I have mad Social Media Skillz. I can do all kinds of nifty things with Adobe creative suite which will result in you having totally cool ads and flyers and brochures and logos and shit and I can even update your website if it's not too complicated. I know MS Office - even access and excel - and I am really excellent with things like mail merge and databases and filing, not to mention I may just be the best writer of press releases in the discovered universe. I also know how to crack geodes, reboot servers and, almost always, fix copiers, so, hey, clearly I am an invaluable potential Team Member. Besides, I bring banana bread - good banana bread - at least once every couple of months and therefore you should hire me pronto.

Well, that was the uncool news. In other, cooler, news, I have a new friend and that is pretty cool. Perdita has a new collar, blue, which is pretty cool. The fish are all still alive and even thriving - highly cool. My son went to Florida and became tan, which was pretty cool and my daughter is always pretty cool. And spring has sprung, ish, which would be extremely cool except that now I have to attempt to dig the lawnmower out of the back of the garage and mow the lawn, which is, sadly, not really cool at all.