Monday, February 16, 2009

Win Lose

I found a scratch off ticket in my coat pocket and scratched it off: lo, I did not win anything. I am baffled - baffled, I say - by my persistent failure to win the lottery. The only lottery I ever win is some foreign lottery in either Nigeria or the UK and, doubtful soul that I am, I kind of don't think I ever entered those lotteries anyway, despite those oh so official misspelled emails that come in to my alterego Info. Info is apparently lucky as hell; Felicity, not so much.

Poor S has the cold from hell as does my coworker J. I feel like Typhoid Mary, guilt, guilt. It figures that the only early adapter fashionable thing I can do is colds: I had it first and now everybody is copying me! Sorry about that, y'all. Next time go for the 10 year old leggings look.

However and meanwhile, A is back in town and he has cut a huge hole in the wall between the kitchen and the living room and it looks AWESOME. So that is a win as, I hope, is the duct taped pack of Camels in my purse, since it is the Quit Smoking Plan Day One, whereby I only get 10 cigarettes a day in my special duct taped box for this week and then 9 a day next week and so on until I have quit painlessly and without barely noticing it. Sort of like the idea that you can boil a frog slowly without him noticing - probably just as painless. Yeah. Or the Milo of Crotona thing with the bull - start with the calf, lift it every day, as it grows so will your strength until you are lifting a 700 pound beef on the hoof (who hopefully is still fond of you despite your strange habits) - which I believe does not work either although I have never had occasion to try it. This had better work. I am tired of sore throats and coughing and gasping my way up hills. Goodbye, oh so cool crutch! Goodbye nihilistic punk rock 1940s glamor! Enough of you. We had fun and now, or, well, in 10 weeks, it will all be over.

In other news I had no internet all day at work, which ATT&T swears is our fault and our IT people swear is their fault; eventually, we just gave up and went home. I have no phone at home because Sprint hates me, so there's a sort of almost complete communications breakdown going on here. Oh well. Send a smoke signal or something if you absolutely must contact me; I'll be home for another hour or thereabouts and then going to H's birthday dinner! HAPPY BIRTHDAY H!!! I GOT YOU A VERY AWESOME PRESENT SO YOU HAD BETTER SHOW UP AT YOUR BIRTHDAY DINNER!! And that, I believe, is the news from Riverview.

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